Episode Title: Never Trick a Trickster
Season 08, Episode 19
Episode 179 of 344
Written by Alan Goldfein
Directed by Joe Coppoletta
Original Airdate: Thursday, January 29th,
1987
The Plot (Courtesy of TV.Com): Seeing Anne's immature behavior, Karen feels sorry for Paige
and wants her to stay with them. Anne wants Paige to come back to NY, and
threatens to cut her off financially. Peter tells Paige it isn't good for
his image to live with someone, so she moves back to the MacKenzies. Anne says
she'll stay until Paige agrees to leave with her. Greg finds the bug in his
office, and suspects that someone has hooked up to his computer. He makes phony
deals, and tells Ben about it. Ben tells Jean, who's upset because she fell for
it. Abby tells Gary she will fight for the ranch unless he gives her $3 million
so Gary gives her the money. Ben tells Val that no matter what happens, to
always remember he loves her. Jean tells Ben that his new assignment is to kill
Greg.
When
we last left off, we were in the midst of a very stupid storyline and hey,
wouldn’t you know it, we begin Never
Trick a Trickster by picking up right where that stupid storyline left off
and continuing to run with it. You’ll
all recall how our previous ep ended with Ben tackling his dangerous assignment
of planting a bug in Greg’s home office, but then somebody started to turn the
doorknob and enter the room just as we got our “Executive Producers”
credit. I’d say we pick up right there
as we begin this ep, but that would be a lie, because what actually happens is
we are forced to rewatch a smidge of the scene where Hackney gives Ben his assignment
and then a rather sizable chunk of footage involving him arriving at Sumner’s
home and putting the bug in his office. As
this occurred, My Beloved Grammy bemoaned the fact that we would have to watch
the whole entire scene again, and I’m right there with her, although
fortunately they do tighten this down considerably for the opening moments of
this ep. In any case, I’m still
irritated by this, though I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not like this is the first ep to begin
by replaying the closing minutes of our last ep, but for some reason this
instance really annoys me. Perhaps it
just boils down to the fact that this whole plot is stupid, so having to see
the same stupid footage repeated is just irritating. It also might have to do with the fact that I
can actually feel the writers and producers trying with all their might to kill
time, to try and fill this 30-episode season with material, grasping at straws
by filling out the 48 minutes by replaying several minutes of the prior ep.
When
we finally get to some new footage and get to see the continuation of the epic
turning doorknob and slow opening the door, we should all be feeling real
disappointed at the reveal. We all saw
that doorknob start turning and could only imagine who might come walking
in. Could it be Carlos The Butler, curious to
see what Ben is really up to in this computer room? Could it be Laura, ready to catch Ben in the
act and blow the whistle to Greg? Could
it perhaps be Greg himself, catching Ben red-handed in the act of turning into
a spy for the purposes of a terrible storyline?
The answers are no, no, and no, because it actually just turns out to be
Jason 4 (the worst of the Jasons, I’d have to say, aside from the completely
forgettable one that only played him in the Pilot,
perhaps) coming to retrieve his math book or some other sort of plot
contrivance. Ben looks like he’s about
to shit his pants (which is basically the way he looks all season) and then
Jason 4 says, “Mr. Gibson, this room is off limits,” and there’s a long pause
before he adds, “For me.” He asks that
Ben not tell Greg he saw him in here and Ben is, of course, happy to
oblige. Uck. I guess the scene is, you know, fine, it’s
whatever, but watching it, I did put myself into the mindset of a 1987 viewer
and I can tell you that I would have been pretty pissed if I waited all week to
see how things would turn out for Ben and found out that it’s only
non-character Jason 4 entering the room.
This kinds of things play differently nowadays, particularly with the way
My Beloved Grammy and I watch the show by always doing five eps in a row. When you do it that way, you just hop from
one ep to the next and are not as hyper-aware of the little cliffhangers each
ep presents you, but I think this one is a real loser. Imagine waiting seven days to see who might
be on the other end of that door, only to have the door open and show that it’s
nothing more substantial than Jason 4.
The
badness and stupidity continues well into the final scene of our ep, which is
about the only other important scene Ben gets this week. In it, he’s paying a visit to Hackney’s
stupid dress shop and Hackney is there and she looks stupid and is dressed
stupid and this whole character is just stupid, Bob Loblaw. They exchange some dialogue about how Greg
discovered the bug in his office (we’ll discuss it) and Ben is being kinda
condescending and sarcastic, talking about how bad Hackney is at her job. Then the terrible synth 1987 music starts
coming out of the soundtrack and Hackney ominously says, “You have a new
assignment.” There’s a slight pause and
then she says, “Your assignment is to kill Greg Sumner,” to which Ben has a
little chuckle before realizing that she’s actually serious. I still love Sheehan as Ben, but you can just
tell this storyline hurts him because his acting is not what it once was. The laugh he delivers after Hackney gives him
his assignment is just…..no. Clearly
he’s supposed to be playing it like he assumes her declaration is a joke and
has a chuckle, but it’s just way too exaggerated and not the way a person would
really laugh, and then the fact that we just end on his face as he realizes
that she’s serious….just awful. Another
awful thing about this ending is that we’ve
already done this. We ended an ep
way back near the start of the season with Hackney lying in bed with some dude
and telling him that Ben’s assignment was to kill Greg. Okay, it was a stupid ending for that ep, but
now it’s a stupid ending for this ep,
yet in the course of being doubly stupid, it also gives us no new
information. Yes, it’s true that Ben
didn’t know this was going to be his assignment, but we viewers did, and a long
time ago, as well. Do the writers think
we have forgotten about that ep? Do they
think this how you make a good cliffhanger?
In any case, it’s terrible, so let’s move on.
I
mentioned how Greg finds the bug in his office.
Well, that’s because he does. How does he wind up discovering the
bug? Well, that I can’t tell you,
because I do not know. I want to make
sure and point out that, as I am writing this, I have the ep pulled up in front
of me on a separate screen, and I not only double checked, I triple checked, and I am fairly positive
that we never see Greg discover the
bug; we just hear about it after the fact.
Am I crazy? Was something cut
out? Am I just somehow not noticing
footage that she be clearly going on right in front of me? Cuz see, we start the ep with Ben and Jason
4, then we cut to some shenanigans involving Karen and Mack and Anne, then we
cut to Paige and Peter shagging, at which point Peter receives a phonecall from
Greg, leaving him a message on his 1987 voicemail, and then we cut over to Greg
and Laura talking about how Laura thinks Peter planted the bug. See what I mean? When did
Greg find the bug, and how? Once again, I must insult the writing staff
for not properly crossing their T’s and dotting their lower case j's; instead just
allowing stuff to happen offscreen and telling us about it after the fact.
Even
though I’m critical of that one aspect of this story, I will confess that Greg
probably gets the best material this week, courtesy of Laura. First off and obviously of the utmost urgency,
Greg smokes two cigars in this ep, making them #24 and #25 on the Sumner Cigar
Counter. #24 comes at some point early
in the ep when he’s just working on his computer, and then #25 comes closer to
the end of the day, when he and Laura are preparing for bed. I like Cigar #25 better cuz it also helps to
remind us of plot functions. Laura is
relaxing on the couch and, I think, reading a book or a magazine or something
(she’s wearing her Librarian Glasses, in any case) when Greg comes walking in
sucking on his cigar, to which she says, “Secondary smoke; I’m pregnant,
remember?” This does a good job of
reminding us of Laura’s pregnancy and it also shows Greg’s tendency to
sometimes be kinda an asshole, even to someone he loves, like Laura. Earlier in the ep, Laura challenged him on
why he’s so allergic to the idea of having a kid, telling him how this kid will
love him no matter what, even though, “You’ve done nothing to deserve it.” It might be in this ep or it might be in
another one, but at some point Greg says something about how he doesn’t think
there need to be any more Sumners running around, that he wants to kill the
bloodline of Paul Galveston or, you know, whatever. I guess he’s forgotten about his daughter,
Mary Frances, lost spotted in the middle section of season five, or perhaps
he’s doing that sexist patriarchal thing where you don’t even bother to count
girls as a part of your bloodline, I dunno.
Abs
is also a busy little bee this ep, exchanging some truly awful A.D.R dialogue
with Peter while they walk around some fancy house that Abs is considering
buying. I’m pretty sure this is the
house that Abs and Olivia wind up moving into for the next bundle of seasons,
although I could be mistaken. Whether or
not they buy it, I can tell you that I certainly want it. This house looks fabulously California, like
it belongs to a movie star, and it also kinda reminds me of Miles Dyson’s fabulously
metallic house in Terminator 2. Obviously there’s also a pool, because of
course there is, and I definitely think I’d be very happy living here. Even so, I will say that I’d rather stay
living on Westfork with the big open land and the sauna and the full gym and
all that good stuff, but that option’s not on the table for Abs, who is inching
ever closer to a divorce from Gary.
On
that topic, Abs gets wicked once again this week, telling Gary that the divorce
settlement he’s concocted is not enough for her, and that she will require
either three million dollars or the rights to Westfork. This whole thing is barely even worth writing
about, because after a very small back
and forth between the two characters about how Abs doesn’t even like the ranch,
Gary agrees to give her the three million dollars and he does so and, well,
that’s about it. I’m looking at my notes
right now and I see that I wrote, “They just sorta bring stuff up and then wrap
it up real fast during this era.” Well,
let me just say that I completely agree with myself, and this little sub-story
in the ep is a prime example of this lazy writing. Why even bother to bring up Abs wanting to
take Westfork from Gary if it’s not going to lead anywhere? The conclusion I come to is, once again, that
the writers are just trying to fill out time.
Oh how I yearn for the days of Ciji, of Wolfbridge, and of Val’s babies,
when the showrunners were able to map out a really strong central storyline to
keep all of the cast linked together.
Now I feel the characters are often disparate and separated from each
other, just getting a little material here and a little material there in order
to fill up the time, all before it’s inauspiciously wrapped up and we move on
to something else.
Despite
my bitching, I do still appreciate one aspect of this bit of business, and that
is the fact that Abs is being evil and wicked.
If I was watching this in 1987 and had just finished up the
Olivia-on-coke saga, I might be wondering if Abs was starting to go soft on me,
but this confirms that she’s still her same old self. Even though Olivia-on-coke gave us a fabulous
new window into Abby’s character, there’s always gonna be the selfish, lying,
exploiting part of her personality as well, and God bless her for it. I have read some interviews where Donna says
that she didn’t believe Latham and Leckowick (and I’m officially just calling
them “L & L” from now until the end of time) represented her character very
well, that she felt her character started going downhill and becoming too
soft. I’d be curious to know where Donna
thinks that started to happen, and I shall pay strict attention in the next two
seasons to see if I notice anything, but right now I have no complaints. I still think Abs feels like Abs and I still
think Donna plays her perfectly. I’m not
terribly interested in her quest for Westfork as a story, mostly because we
barely even get enough time with it to call it a story, but I am pleased to see
that she’s not going to suddenly turn into a super nice woman who goes out on
public speaking tours to talk out against teenaged drug use.
Oh
God, and speaking of storylines that are brought up and then abruptly go
absolutely nowhere or are immediately taken back, we also have Paige moving in
with Peter for all of five minutes.
Again, why bother with this?
Paige is upset about her mother being in town, so she goes to live with
Peter, they shag once or twice, and then by the end of the ep she’s moving back
in with Karen and Mack. Once again, I
can mentally picture the writers sitting around and being like, “Alright,
Paige, we gotta find something to do with Paige in this ep, something that
takes up enough time to fill the ep and also gives her a few minutes of
material. Hmmmmm…..how about she moves
in with Peter and then immediately moves right back into the Fairgate/MacKenzie
house?” Honestly, I might rather just not
have Paige show up at all in the ep if this is all they’re going to do with
her.
But
wait, I actually spoke too soon, because now I remember that we get several
fabulous exchanges of dialogue between Paige and Anne as we make our way
through this ep. Anne is already getting
pretty cozy hanging around the cul-de-sac and attempting to seduce Mack. In a stunning display of hospitality, Karen
and Mack are allowing Anne to stay at the house for awhile, and early in the ep
she comes walking in with a stack of flowers from their garden and declares how
much she loves their house and how, “This is like what happy couples must
have.” Like all of her lines, this one
is delivered just perfectly by Michelle Phillips, who I’m already finding
insanely amusing. I love the way her
face moves when she talks and I love how her eyes are consistently opened super
wide. I love the fact that she’s wicked
and she’s blonde but she manages to make herself completely distinctive from
the wicked blondeness of Abs; she plays her character more deliberately
over-the-top and it really works for me.
Everything
between Paige and Anne is also working for me.
The middle of the ep concerns itself with a tremendously awkward lunch
date between Karen, Mack, Anne, and Paige.
Before that, however, we see how remarkably unconcerned Anne is to
finally see her daughter alive and well after believing she was dead for, you
know, however long Paige has been claiming to be dead (two years?). We learn that she gave away Paige’s cat and
that this really upsets her, and I enjoy the way that you can tell Anne is only
telling her this specifically to upset
her. At the lunch, they continue to
bicker and Anne says how they’re trying to enjoy a nice lunch, to which Paige
says, “A lunch at a restaurant you chose, and you’ll probably stick him with
the bill.” I appreciate Paige telling it
like it is, and I also appreciate Karen and Mack’s discomfort. I’m sure there was more witty dialogue in
this scene to be enjoyed, but my fingers are getting tired, so let’s talk about
Val and then wrap this up.
Before
I get into Val’s story for the week, I’m gonna go ahead and make a prediction
based on my memory and my prediction is: Val’s story will go absolutely
nowhere. We will have to proceed forward
through the rest of this season and then the six other seasons still in our
future, but for the moment I feel pretty comfortable saying this. Anyway, you all remember how Ramilar
Productions was getting ready to turn Val’s book into a big TV movie? Well, in this ep Val is all excited to meet
the woman who will be playing her, Deborah Kensington. This is a good fake movie star name, because
at first I experienced a moment of wondering whether this would be a real
actress, sorta like how Zsa Zsa Gabor and Mike Douglas showed up as themselves
in season four with Svengali. But no, Deborah Kensington is just a fake
name (that sounds really real) and she is being played by Katherine Moffat. Now, that name sounded really
God damn familiar to me and I was convinced I would realize why I know it when
I looked at her IMDb, but that didn’t help.
This actress is in stuff but none of her credits leapt out at me. In any case, the main point of this story is
that Val meets the lady who’s going to be playing her character and realizes
that she is completely wrong for the part.
The woman is too glamorous and too Hollywood to play an effective
Valene, plus she wants all sorts of changes and tweaks made to the script and
her character (this might happen in the next ep and there’s a chance I’m
getting the two confused). I am almost
100% sure that this whole TV movie and Deborah Kensington and all this will
just disappear up into the sky along with Abs and Gary’s methanol adventures
from season three before too long, but I’ve been known to remember things incorrectly, so there’s still hope that Val’s TV movie will actually amount to a
significant storyline.
That’s
about all I have to say for this ep.
What did I think of it?
Hmmmm……I’d say it was better than our previous ep, but not even close to
the two eps that came before that one.
So far, Olivia-on-coke has been the highlight of this season, and I
predict it will remain that way. Now
that they’ve finished up that storyline, we are back to the same old problems
that have been plaguing season eight since it began, the desperate attempts to
fill up time, the storylines that start and then finish almost immediately, the
truly wretched Hackney storyline.
Despite this disappointing drop in quality, there are also good aspects to this ep, mostly
involving Greg and Laura or Paige and Anne.
There’s always hope that our next ep will be an even greater
improvement, so let’s move right along to A
Plan of Action.
Poor Jason 4, who might as well be Jason 9, for all I ever kept track. Stupid Jason.
ReplyDeleteAnd another example of Karen inviting her man's old loves into her house. The women always turn out to have ulterior motives, but she keeps doing it anyway. Does she not remember the first Mrs. Fairgate and the girl mechanic at the garage? Or even more recently, Jill Bennett? Learn from history, girl!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing getting me through my utterly boring workday is reading this blog about my favorite TV show. So - Thank you and don't stop!
ReplyDeleteGreg realizes he's been bugged because he realizes his inside stock trades are not so secret after all. Then he and Laura cook up fake stock suggestions to smoke out the culprit. Watching Hackney repeat these stock suggestions via phone is abysmal...
ReplyDeleteYes, Anne is similar, but different to Abs. When I first watched series, I remember thinking how completely over the top and unrealistic she seemed. Though, older now, I know people just as affected and showy as Anne... and I think Michelle Phillips does a great job delivering a strong character right from the get go. You can see Anne's flaws/ shortcomings right away even if she intends to present herself as strong/ confident.