Episode Title: The Surprise
Season 03, Episode 05
Episode 036 of 344
Written by Ellis Marcus
Directed by Joseph Manduke
Original Airdate: Thursday,
December 10th, 1981
The Plot (Courtesy of TV.Com): Richard's boss
asks him to procure prostitutes for clients and he does. When Val receives a
postcard from Olivia, a detective is able to find the kids. Abby goes there and
Jeff tells her that the state won't honor California custody
laws. Abby begins manipulating Jeff, but he tells her that he knows what she is
doing. Abby perseveres, and soon has Jeff back in love with her. She agrees to
remarry him and they all drive back to Knots Landing. On the day of the
wedding, Jeff and his mother wait at the Court House for Abby to show up.
Instead, a deputy shows up and serves Jeff a restraining order so he can't see
his children or else he will be arrested for kidnapping. Karen later tells Abby
that she really hurt Jeff. Abby replies, "He hurt me. Nobody does
that!"
Welcome back to Knots Blogging, and oh boy, lemme tell
you I am so excited to sink my teeth into some more KL eps. I think I’d like to
start setting the scene for how many episodes and which particular episodes My
Beloved Grammy and I watch in a given sitting, so I’ll say that on our last
visit, we powered through four episodes (remember, we always just go with
however many are on a disk, and at the moment, the ratio seems to be about four
per disk, but I feel that might jump to five per disk in the near future),
spanning from The Surprise through Mistaken Motives.
KL has officially wrapped its warm, loving, beautiful, powerful
fingers around me again, by the way. I
am absolutely 100% back on the cul-de-sac, I am invested, man, and just to show some context, I’ll say that there
was a bit of a gap between our last disk and this disk. Really, it was only a couple of weeks, but I
could actually feel withdrawals taking over; I had to get back to my friends at
Seaview Circle or I was gonna go crazy.
I left the most pathetic and insane voicemail on My Beloved Grammy’s
machine where I was like, “My hands are shaking, I’m thinking about Karen
constantly, I need more Knots, I need
it bad!” Even though we still haven’t
yet reached what I would call KL’s
breakthrough season (season four, coming up shortly!), I am already lost in the
world and in love with the characters and I just love it and I can’t get
enough.
But what about our episode up
for discussion this week? How about The Surprise? Well, I’m not so sure, except to say that
this episode was underwhelming. I
predict that I probably won’t have much to say on this ep because it was just
sorta there. We’re not scraping the
bottom of the KL barrel here (Man of the Hour) but this is also not
really an episode that jumps out and screams at you. It was okay
and that’s about it. Let’s dive right
in.
The Surprise actually serves as the culmination of a storyline
that’s been going on for quite awhile now, brewing since way back in
mid-season-two with A State of Mind. That was when we first met Jeff Cunningham
and seeds were planted that he might be stealing Abby’s kids from her, which he
finally did do in the season finale, Squeezeplay. Through all the drama of Sid’s death, this
storyline kept lurking in the background, always on Abby’s mind.
Maybe part of my problem with The Surprise is that this storyline of
Jeff and the stolen kids has never really grabbed me. Make no mistake, I love Abs and I love the
kids (well, I’m kinda indifferent to Brian, but I do love Olivia, maybe more for where her character winds up going
years down the road versus where she is right now), but somehow this storyline
was never particularly exciting to me. I
dunno, but maybe I should ask if anyone actually believed these kids would be
missing forever? I sure didn’t, not the
first time I watched the show and not this time; I had no doubt that after a
few episodes, Abby would get her kids back.
But I’m rambling here. After the thirty second preview and the majestic opening credits (I’m still so happy to see those scrolling squares
omigod!), we begin the episode proper with Valene going out to check her
mail. She becomes very excited when she
sees one letter and immediately rushes over to Abby’s house to show her. Why, it’s a postcard from Brian and
Olivia! How exciting!
I wanna pause the action of the
episode for a moment to reflect on the current relationship of Abby and
Val. SPOILER ALERT, but we are not far
off from Abby stealing Gary away from Val; in fact, that will serve as the
season finale for this year, and we know she set her sights on him the moment
she arrived on the cul-de-sac. My
question is: Does Val know this? Val and
Abby still seem like friends, they are still nice to each other and Val is
especially decent with Abby. Is Val so
dense that she can’t see the ulterior motives lying beneath Abs? Or is she good-hearted enough to ignore those
motives and be a nice person? Or does
she perhaps know Abby wants Gary but believe
that Gary wouldn’t stray (despite the saga of Judy Trent last season)? In any case, I find it very interesting to
watch this relationship and know that soon Val and Abby will become sworn
enemies.
But anyway, Abs is very excited
to see this postcard and now she knows where the kids are, so yay! She seeks out Richard for some legal advice,
and he tells her the best course is to speak with her ex-husband directly. In any case, Abby quickly heads off to
wherever Jeff and the kids are (they probably say the exact location in the
episode, but I have already forgotten).
They are staying in some shitty little apartment and I immediately noted
a lot of interesting things about
this living situation. Follow me along
here.
First off, the kids appear to just
be hanging out in the apartment all alone until Jeff returns home from,
presumably, work. Well, there’s strike
one against Jeff right away. Olivia is
(at least according to Tonya Crowe’s birth date) ten years old and Brian is (at
least according to the birth date of Robert Jayne or Bobby Jacoby or whatever
the hell his name is; the kid from Tremors)….um,
he doesn’t have a birthday listed. In
any case, let’s assume he’s a little younger than Olivia. So both of these kids are too young to stay
home alone for long hours, wouldn’t you agree?
So as much as Jeff likes to go on about Abby being a whore and not being
a fit mother, this is bad parenting right here.
Second strike against Jeff is
that he comes home to find out that some strange man gave Brian and Olivia a
ride home. Um….huh? Later we find out that this is a detective
Abby hired (go Abs!), but we don’t know that yet. All we know is some strange man picked up
Brian and Olivia and drove them home.
Super creepy and, again, super bad parenting from Jeff.
But strike three occurs when
there’s a knock at the door. Jeff is
offscreen in the kitchen or taking a piss or doing whatever, and he’s just
like, “Hey, kids, answer the door for that stranger, will you?” Doesn’t even bother to drag his ass into the
living room to answer the door, and of course it just turns out to be Abby, but
what if it wasn’t? What if it was Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy or a Jehovah’s Witness? You just don’t have small kids answer the
door that like, Jeff, God damn it!
I think all these small details
are put into this one quick scene to tell us, the faithful viewer at home, that
for all her flaws, Abby is not an
unfit mother. As we go through her nine
seasons on the show, we are definitely going to see that her kids are the most important thing in her life, and whatever her negative qualities
may be elsewhere, she loves them both and would do anything for them. Yes, maybe Abby will shag the married
neighbor while the kids are away at school, but she definitely wouldn’t leave
them home alone for all hours, she certainly wouldn’t just let a stranger pick
them up from school, and she surely would not let them answer the door for a
stranger.
Also, the kids are happy to see
her. They are bored and irritated with
their Transmorpher father and they want to return to life on the cul-de-sac and
not in this boring white walled apartment.
Abby manages to appeal to Jeff and he gives in and allows her to stay
the night. Wheels are in motion and, in
my opinion, there’s an aura of inevitability to the proceedings, but I’ll
explore that in more detail later.
We’ve also got a few other
storylines going this week, one for Karen and one for Richard. Let’s start with Karen. As we are coming to see this season, the
ghost of Sid Fairgate looms large over proceedings but especially over any of
Karen’s stories. She has now inherited
Knots Landing Motors and it’s her responsibility to keep the money flowing and
the cars selling. However, at this
point, she still hasn’t sold any cars and she needs advice from Gary.
I’ll just sorta zoom through
this storyline cuz it’s not too terribly interesting. Make no mistake, you all know I love Karen
and she is the main character of the series (try to argue with me on that) and
she is my favorite character of the entire series run. I appreciate the fact that her storyline
links back to Sid’s tragic death, but I also think she’s getting the short end
of the stick this week, cuz it’s just sorta a blah story. Will Karen sell a car? I don’t find myself in tremendous suspense on
this issue, but anyway, Gary tries to give her some advice, but no matter what
she does, she keeps losing her sales. Near
the end of the episode, a nice man with a moustache (God bless the ‘80s) shows
up and expresses some interest in the cars, but then he departs and says, “I’ll
be right back.” Well, of course we the
audience at home and Gary on the show believe he will never be seen again, that
Karen just lost a sale. Karen has a
funny line, “He wouldn’t have wasted all of my time if he wasn’t gonna buy a
car!” We see that even though she is
sharp and savvy, she maybe has a bit to learn about business dealings and
salesmanship.
But then, lo and behold, in a
moment that I did really enjoy, the man returns near the end of the episode and
buys, like, a million cars, cutting Karen a really big check, making her give
Gary a little grin like, “Told you so, stupid.”
This made me smile, and I appreciated a moment of levity in the episode
which is otherwise a bit morose. At the same
time, this is only an okay storyline, basically the writers saying, “This ep is
all about Abby, can we throw something in for Karen to do?” Don’t worry, though, cuz having watched all
the way through Mistaken Motives in
this sitting, I know we’ve got plenty of great Karen material in the episodes
coming up next.
I am more intrigued by the final
side storyline this week, the one involving Richard. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my beloved seeds are being planted, with a
storyline that, for this week, seems pretty small, but will end up having big
ramifications in the weeks to come. See,
Richard is trying to get nice and comfortable in his new job at some law
firm. He worked at whatever law firm he
was working at when the series started for, what, eleven years? Something like that. Then he lost the job in the amazing episode Chance of a Lifetime and spent most of
season two in an unemployed, alcohol-filled stupor of affairs with Abby. Then he got his shit together near the end of
the season, got a job at a new law firm, and that brings us up to date, but
things are not too rosy for Richard here.
See, his hilarious pipe-smoking moustached boss with these crazy
eyebrows is basically trying to turn Richard into the company pimp and has no
interest in his legal advice at all.
Nope, instead he’s only interested in the girls Richard can provide, in his ability to throw a good party and
help them seal important legal cases with, you know, whores. I don’t know exactly how he first thinks to
ask Richard this; so far as I can remember, we’ve never seen Richard with a
whore (we’ve seen him cheat a few times, but never with a whore), but whatever,
that’s what the boss wants.
Every time I see Richard’s boss
(Parkhurst, what a great last name), I laugh and pee my pants a little; this
guy is just too silly looking. I’ll try
to get a screengrab or something so others can understand my hilarity, but this
dude is just always chewing on his pipe and he’s just enjoying the shit out of
that pipe, lemme tell you, plus his moustache is silly and his eyebrows are
silly; this guy is just silly and I
love it. The actor's name is John Lehne
and I am shocked to discover he’s
only in four episodes of KL because
in my memories he was in a whole bunch more.
In addition to his incredible appearances on KL, John Lehne is also a Transmorpher, having appeared as Kyle
Bennett in two episodes of Dallas, Who Done It? from 1980 (probably the
most famous Dallas episode ever; this
is the one where we find out who shot J.R., you’ll recall) and then The Quest in 1981. John Lehne, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, as far as I recall, nothing
much comes of this storyline this week, but pay attention and remember it,
because it’s gonna pay off big time a few episodes from now with Secrets.
For the purposes of this week, all we know is that Richard wants to be a
respected lawyer, not a company pimp, but he sometimes has a hard time speaking
up to his bosses, so for now, he’s sorta slipping into that unfortunate role.
Let’s return to the main storyline
and sorta wrap things up. If this seems
abrupt, I’m sorry, but that’s kinda how the episode plays, as well. Honestly, for all the buildup and
foreshadowing we got to Jeff snatching the kids, things conclude nice and tidy
and quick here and, as far as I can remember, this storyline never returns. But basically Abby immediately begins to work
her magic on Jeff. They go out with the
kids to the park and have a fun day together in a scene I didn’t care for. I dunno, something just felt off about this
entire scene. They’re all playing and
goofing around, somehow Jeff’s shoe ends up being taken away from him, a
comedic chase ensues, and then both Jeff and Abs fall into a pond. Of course, as they lie in the pond, they come
damn close to kissing but then stop themselves.
Knowing my Abs very well and knowing that this is all part of a
carefully planned attack against Jeff, I felt more of a “Oh, so close” reaction
versus a, “Gee I hope they get back together again,” reaction.
We all know Abby’s playing Jeff,
right? Now, when I watch the show, I try
to wash my brain out and really pretend I’m watching the show in real time as
it airs, try to imagine how a viewer would see these things. Should we be in suspense and think that Abs
and Jeff might really get back together?
Should we perhaps think that he’s gonna remarry her and become a staple
character on the series? Well, maybe,
but for me I can smell that twist ending coming the whole time. The beauty of Donna Mills’ acting, however,
is that she still seems so damn genuine.
When she’s saying to Jeff how they should give it another shot and yada
yada yada, I honestly think she sounds sincere, even though I know she’s lying.
In any case, the entire gang
return to the cul-de-sac with news of, get this, impending nuptials. They are gonna get remarried, you see, isn’t
that sweet? Now of course everyone at
Seaview Circle is a little hesitant with this news, like, “Really?” But in any case, the big day arrives and Jeff
is all set to meet Abs at the courthouse.
Karen, Val, and Lilimae aren’t supposed
to be there because Abs asked for nobody to come, but they’re there and this is
all played very comically but I’m kinda like, “Ah, whatever.” Basically, all that happens is some cop comes
up to Jeff and is like, “Hey, are you Jeff the Transmorpher who’s gonna date
Sue Ellen during the dream season of Dallas?”
and Jeff is like, “Yeah,” and then the cop is like, “Here’s a restraining order
from your ex-wife and if you come near her, she’s gonna get you arrested for kidnapping.” Jeff’s all like, “Oh no, this sucks!” but he
really doesn’t put up much of a fight; instead he just sorta goes away.
When the ladies return to the
cul-de-sac, they confront Abs about what happened, asking if she had this
planned out all along and she confirms that this is so, culminating with the
final line of the episode, “He hurt me, and nobody gets away with that.” This is a pretty good final line and I like
Abby’s face as we go out to credits, but I dunno. As an ending, this doesn’t really pack the
punch that it’s probably supposed to.
After all that buildup and suspense, she just gives him a restraining
order and he goes away?
And yes, he does just go away.
I wanted to make sure I wasn’t misremembering this, so I went to Barry Jenner’s IMDb page to have a look, and yup, this is his last appearance on KL ever.
For all his big speeches about Abby’s being an unfit mother, do you
really believe he would just roll over and accept this defeat so easily? We’ve got over 300 more episodes in this
series and I don’t even know if this character is mentioned again ever.
Maybe Brian and Olivia felt closer with their mother than their father,
but don’t you think they’d every now and then say something like, “We kinda
miss Daddy” or “Can we go visit Daddy?”
Honesty, considering how rebellious Olivia gets around seasons six,
seven, and (most unforgettably) eight, you’d think this subject would come up,
no? But I don’t think Jeff Cunningham is
ever once mentioned again, and that’s pretty interesting considering the
backstory between him and Abby. Now, I
will keep paying strict attention and if he is
mentioned again at some point in the future, I will surely eat my words.
But until that time, what of The Surprise? Well, as you can probably tell, I was less
than enthused, but it wasn’t terrible or anything like that. My biggest complaint is something I can’t
quite put my finger on, but basically it’s that there’s just something missing.
There’s just no fizzle to proceedings and that’s true from start to
finish. It’s like there’s just no pep,
no energy, and even though the things happening onscreen should be exciting,
everything’s just sorta blah. I will say
this is easily the worst episode of season three thus far (but we may have some
new contenders as we move along), but it’s not a worthless hour of
television. It’s just not that great,
you know?
Before I end my essay for the
week, I’ll take a moment to reflect on where we are in season three. So far, I gotta say, things are going about
the way I remembered them going, meaning that we started the season off just spectacularly with the best episodes of KL thus far, but now I feel like there’s
a sense of “What do we do now?” in the air.
Again, I predict this won’t last long, that by season four we are gonna
be taking off like a shot and beginning those glorious GOLDEN YEARS that I
can’t wait to get to, but for right now, you feel like the writers killed off
Sid Fairgate and now they’re trying to figure out how to proceed, what to do
with the eight characters still on the show, how to move on from something that
big and dramatic. I feel we are in for a
bit of a bumpy road as we move through season three. I think there will be some great stuff in the
future (I’ll let the cat out of the bag right now and say that upcoming episode
Secrets is just breathtaking and one
of the best episodes so far), but also some episodes that just never quite take
off, like The Surprise.
Okay, guys, that’s all I have to
say on this rather bland and forgettable episode, but tune in Thursday for my
thoughts on One of a Kind.
I agree...there was no suspense in the Abby/Jeff storyline. Everyone knew that Abby wasn't going anywhere and that this guy wasn't going to be along very long. He just didn't fit in the cul-de-sac. And he most certainly didn't fit Abby when the show hits the golden years.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about this episode
ReplyDelete(Olivia: "I agree with you about this episode").
But it is a nice insight into the way Abby operates
(Olivia: "But it is a nice insight into the way Abby operates.").
And it's good to see Olivia has stopped repeating everything
(Olivia: "And it's good to see Olivia has stopped repeating everything.")
Yeah Jeff was pretty boring and the chemistry between him and Abby just wasn't there to make me believe them as a couple.
ReplyDelete